Unhelpful Emphases in Youth Ministry

Part 1 - An Emphasis on Rules over Relationship

Murray Brown

A couple of favourite slogans we as Christians are apt to use are: “I’m not religious, I’m a Christian!” and “Christianity is not a religion, It’s a relationship.” The question I find myself asking is, “If that is true why do I find myself tending to teach it like it’s a set of rules”?

The problem with a rules-based approach to youth ministry is that it creates fear. If the rules we teach can be summed up by “Believe more and behave more!” we produce a youth ministry in which young people fear they are not believing enough nor behaving enough. As Mike King in his book Presence-Centered Youth Ministry notes:

“All this fear leads us to engage in youth ministry based on behaviour modification techniques and poisons the environment of genuine transformation which only comes through the work of the Holy Spirit.”

As a parent and youth leader I'm great at behaviour modification. I can think of a hundred fences to build around my kids and young people and a hundred threats of what will happen if they break these rules. However what I should be doing is introducing young people to a relationship with God – not to relationship with a set of rules. A relationship of love with God removes the fear that comes through rules. As the Apostle John said:

“God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.” 1 John 4:16b,18 (NLT)

The Apostle Paul agreed pointing out that:

“The Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans 14:17 (NLT)

So what does it mean in practice to have an emphasis on relationship with God and not rules? Firstly it means I trust the Holy Spirit to do His work of convicting and guiding. It is not my role to tell young people what is top of God’s list of “thou shalt not’s” for them. It is my role to help them identify this through asking questions and creating in them an awareness of the voice of God’s Spirit.

Secondly it means an emphasis on Scripture as a medium through which God communicates personally with us and not simply a set of rules. While we need “Bible Study” we also need practices of meditation and praying through scripture (lectio divina) to help them connect with the heart of God.

Through these approaches we produce young people who are growing to truly know and love God for themselves and not young people bound by a set of rules.